It’s getting late and you’re still not here, my soul is drowning in a sour chocolate and you don’t even see it.

I float in the nothing and my whole is just raw.

Why? I don’t have an answer. I miss that essence, where did I leave it.

I want to know that corner of myself that makes me happy, without the need of further searches.

What I’m afraid of? I’m afraid of staying the way I am right now for the rest of my life.

I want that reason, that because.

I want to laugh, smile, without faking it. While walking through the streets, I force myself to smile; they say I look prettier when I smile.

Pinching me with their every word, their every action, their every life…

Alone and alone, always ill be.

Its better being alone than with the wrong people they say. I’m not at ease.

Not at ease.

Not being me. What can I do? I’m tired of waiting.

I call everyday; I get the same vague answer.

I never thought it was going to be like this. I never knew this feeling was going to last this long, I never knew it wasn’t erased. I never knew I just distract myself to not think about it. I never knew I was hiding it. I didn’t know.

It’s killing me, slowly…and I’m supposed to be happy and content about all of this.

Get me out of this world, but don’t kill me.

Time is precious and valid. I’ll just close myself and fall asleep, without settling these mixed emotions.

Stories ill keep to myself and confide to my nightmares. Then I’ll wake up and dream about dreams.